I sit quietly in the corner of senior and junior hall, just outside room 113 and across from the vending machines. I wait, alone, until my lunch group decides to show up. These are friends of old; since freshman year, the same group of girls from my IBET have sat together in close proximity to our old Biology classroom. Our group has grown slightly, but these other friends usually come and go. It just feels natural to sit with them day in and day out.
Recently however, our group has diminished due to physics and whatnot of junior year. And the less I see them at lunch and more in the hallways, I feel less of a friend to them. Just today, I was passing through the halls and not one said hello.
When did our relationship get so awkward? I feel like I hardly know these people anymore. True, I have always been reserved and never was very close to any of them, but it still pains me to see our friendship broken so easily by the rush of schoolwork. We used to share secrets together, talk about pop culture and express our differing opinions in heated discussion. Today, we barely talk about anything other than school, if at all. When we do, it feels wrong - I feel like I need to escape as soon as possible. But how can I leave these friends when we've been together for so long?
I simply smile and munch on my sandwich, thinking to myself that every moment that my heart leaps at the old spark of friendship is only an illusion, that tomorrow they will not even speak to me, that I can only carry on and make new friends.
Comments (1)
cheer up girl! your friends will always be your friends, no matter how you guys drift apart, and well... they may surprise you.